Vaccinator [vak-suh-ney-ter]

Vaccinator [vak-suh-ney-ter] n.: one who vaccinates.

Somehow, I always end up with this designation during my shifts at CVS. Yesterday I had the lovely privilege of attempting to vaccinate a 63 year old woman who was verbally skeptical of my abilities. I approached her carrying a tray of the vaccine, alcohol swabs,a sharps container, and a nifty CVS band-aid when she immediately inquired:

"Are you a pharmacist?" [translation: I will run for dear life if you take one more step towards me. Get lost. There is no way you will ever poke me with that needle.]

"No mam, I'm an intern." [translation: How dare she underestimate my vaccinating skills. I've done this 1,000 times before. Come on, it's only a pinch. You'll get a cool band-aid.]

By this time, crocodile tears are welling up in both of her eyes and she is literally shivering as if we are camped out at the North Pole. I am now regretful of not being more sympathetic in my translation previously mentioned.

"Mam, would you be more comfortable having the pharmacist administer your vaccine today?" [Silence. Dead silence. Shivering. Leaky tears. Attempts at consolation. Squinty eyes. Wrinkled nose. Head turned in the opposite direction. Shirt sleeve raised.]

After a couple of minutes of shear panic, here I am administering the flu vaccine and mortified of what's coming next. Just like that it was over. She was fine.

"That's it?" Yes, that was IT.

*photo available from here

Vaccinator [vak-suh-ney-ter] n.: one who is to blame for incessant anxiety.